Overcoming Lovesickness – The 10 Best Tips Against Heartache

No matter how difficult it may be, especially shortly after the break up, it is important to avoid the ex-partner as much as possible in order to be able to overcome the loss. Meeting with the ex fuels hope, and creates stress and pain. The more we look into the past, the longer we cling to the hope of a reconciliation, which usually does not occur. It takes longer to accept the separation and complete the first phase of the heartache. And we suffer longer. As tempting as it may be to call the ex, just to hear their voice, when we feel lonely: stay strong and do not do it. Give yourself and your ex-partner time to get used to the new situation. After the wounds have healed, contact or even friendship may be possible again at some point. But for this to happen, both parties need a break.

In order to overcome our grief, we must first admit it. It doesn’t help to just suppress certain feelings. Because the grief will not disappear, just because we want it that way. Therefore, it is perfectly okay to indulge in heartbreak and sadness in the first few days or weeks after the separation. You can allow yourself to cry, to scream, and to wallow in self-pity. It is very important that we let our feelings out. Because only then can we deal with the separation properly.

Especially in the first phase of the heartache, many people do not want to talk about the separation and tend to shut themselves off from others. It can be immensely helpful to talk to firends and family about the frustration and grief. Usually it’s enough to realize that someone is listening.

In a relationship both partners have to make compromises and tob e considerate of each other. They are not free to do whatever they want in their free time. So look at the bright side: Now we have time to do things that were could not do with our partner around. Now we can devote our time to things that we have neglected or to finding new hobbies. This way we find distraction, have fun and gain new self-confidence. What did you want to do for a long time? A cooking evening with the girls? A pub crawl with your best friend? A dance class? Learning a new language? Or maybe a canoe tour? Just go ahead and do it!

All the things that do us good are now at the top of our priority list. Take some me-time and do yourself something good. There are so many things you can do. You can go to the sauna, have a soothing massage, visit a hairdresser or a beautician, go shopping, or enjoy a great meal in a good restaurant. Spoil yourself! Pampering body and soul eases the pain and helps us recover. That’s exactly what we need now!

Working out is a good way to distract yourself from the pain and clear your head. Let off some steam. It does not matter which sport you choose. The only important thing is that you are active. It helps against depression; and after a while the brain releases happiness hormones.

It helps to write down your thoughts and feelings. Tell your diary about your heartache. A diary is good for our mental hygiene. That way we can get rid of our depressing thoughts. It also makes it easier to look at things from a different perspective. Especially when thoughts whirl wildly in our heads, writing helps us bring some order into the emotional chaos.

When dealing with the end of a relationship, it also helps to banish all memories of the time together. Get rid of photos, anniversary or birthdays gifts as well as of all other items that bring up memories of your ex-partner. You should put everything that reminds you of the relationship in a large box and store it in the basement or in the attic. The fewer items that remind you of your ex-partner, the easier it is to distract your mind from the pain.

It’s good to be distracted. And what is a better distraction than our friends and the things we enjoy doing. How about a spontaneous holiday? You can go with your best friend to a beautiful beach and enjoy a few sunny days. Or you can try out mountaineering or skiing. A change of environment distracts us from depressing thoughts and can work wonders. Do not just stay at home, do something!

A basic requirement for happiness is to be at peace with ourselves. Therefore, it is important that we learn to value ourselves again. It can help if we analyze our own behavior. When the pain lessens a bit and we are able to evaluate the relationship in a more rational and objective way, we may even learn something from it. Take a critical look back at your last relationship and think about what how you want your future relationships to be.